Dear readers, or most likely, dear me;
It seems ages since the day I went back to my own Country, while I can still count the days using my fingers and toes! The truth is that time can be a feeling as well! The time you spend with people you love, flies even too quickly, as it happened in the last few months in UK. While time far away from those same persons appears to be never ending. Sitting in this train, going back to a place that was used to be my house, I wonder where is going to be my next one. I have the chance to change: to move to another city, have one or two jobs, be alone again. When Tom was next to me everything was brighter, warmer, funnier! I guess it’s one of Life’s game: one more. I hope to be wrong, but I am not sure Life fancies my existence too much! Anyway the reason I am writing this article is to analyse if achievements can lead to happiness equally with or without the people you love. This type of love is really close to selfishness, because in most cases, to reach the goal, you need to make a sacrifice, either in your relationship or on yourself. Everyone knows that very rich people are not happy at all, money don’t bring happiness and so on…
But, what about common people? Normal salaries? Everyday families? What about the most of us? We are those who play almost safely, calculating all the risks and consequences before accepting an offer or a job. We do minimalist as much as we can because we sake happiness with limited resources. For us, to be a bank manager is a big deal and we know that it has a price: family. But nevertheless, the selfish part of us wants that position : so we find millions of excuses; we convince ourselves that we do it for our kids, for a better future!bullshit! We do it for ourselves, for te most selfish part of our soul. And deep inside, we know it.
Are we still talking about love then?!
That’s exactly what I did all my life: being selfish, running from one Country to another, convincing everyone I had no other choice. In a way it was true, but deeply inside, I was just selfish. It seems like I dot learn at all; now I left Tom behind to come here and do what everyone is expecting me to do: to start all over again; but I am paying the price; my own happiness. I will leave my family and the love of my life behind, I will close my heart again and I will start a new adventure. Where is my happy ending then? That light at the end of the tunnel? Probably I missed it, as we miss a train because we were too busy thinking and calculating!
Love and Happiness are not part of a scheme or the result of an accurate analysis of reality; Love is Love and that’s it, just Love. And I missed it.